As you may well know, my blog was entitled “At Least It’s Warmer Here” because I was in Cape Cod/Houston for an off term instead of cold, bleak, and miserable Hanover. (More like beautiful, righteous, and beckoning Hanover. I can’t say no to that 9x5’ piece of plywood, some broken off ping pong paddles, and the cold crisp taste of a keystone milkshake). But I digress.
Now, Houston has a level 4 heat wave warning and is regularly in the triple digits. It is fairly safe to say that it is NOT warmer on Cape Cod than it is in Houston. I think it is also safe to say that there is not one single person here who actually would want it to be warmer than Houston. I am toying with the idea of changing the name of my blog because of this. I’m thinking about “Good thing it’s not warmer here”. Please let me know what you think.
Ok so I guess I’ve been home for 2 weeks. The following blog post will be an abridged summary in a nutshell of the events that happened to me. The following is a picture of me in a nutshell.
Note the lava lamp. I don’t fuck around when it comes to nutshells.
Talk about digressing.
The following is a list of things that I have done since I’ve been home:
Run a leg in a triathalon – the very first morning I was here, I participated in the Hyannis Sprint Triathalon. I was the running leg, and it was nice because we won. Self call. My team started the final running leg about 45 seconds behind the second place team. I knew that 45 seconds was a lot to make up in 3.5 miles, but from the looks of the other team’s runner, I thought I might be ok. He had on his high school singlet and uniform and looked like me 6 years ago: a prepubescent scared little boy. I just kept starring him down and showing him the goat before he left the corral, I think it did wonders for intimidation. And did I mention that it was a triathalon, Jake?
Subbed for the Remedial Kids – fucking ridiculous. The only person from the winter that wasn’t in jail or in an alternative program was Cassie. There were three kids, beg pardon 4 kids in the classroom. One of the kids had on an insane clown possy t shirt on with long black pants and a black hat. When he came in late, he wreaked of weed and we sent him home for the school year. This other kid, Mark, was extremely racist and he kept making comments like “why don’t the fuckin Puerto Ricans go back to fuckin mexico and stop bein around my fuckin town.” He was an ignorant piece of shit.
Worked a bunch – I work 5 days a week and it is fun. Instead of jaded old waitresses, the wait staff at Fresh Ketch is youthful, personable, and fun to be around. I like it.
Ran a bunch – yeah.
Went on craigslist for a bike – I’m trying to get a road bike to cross train on. I hardly have enough time as it is to run for an hour plus every day, so I want to be careful not to spend too much on a road bike. I found one for 500 dollars in Beverly, Ma. As soon as I get in touch with the guy, I’m going to go visit bNor, piss in his cookie jar, pick up the bike, and treat out with it back at home.
Had a house party – This was fun. I know people are busy with their stuff and shit, but you should have been there. I had my slip and slide set up, my older sister was hollering at me to get everyone to leave, I blacked out, everyone was hammered and having a good time, Tarnoff was there being an ass clown, it was pretty nice. Except for the Tarnoff part. The slip and slide was siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick. You know how I know? Because I woke up with scratches all over my chest.
Discovered I get $8.79 back from living in the house in the spring – apparently there is a rebate for living in the house. Mine is eight dollars and seventy-nine cents. I’m not too worried about getting that check back in the mail.
Changed my class schedule – I am now signed up for both Music 1 and Anthropology 42: Primate Societies. Get into it.
Got into the Falmouth Road Race – After pleading and begging Ali Smrcina to get me into the Falmouth Road Race, she finally did. Awesome. I’m ready to kick some ass down there in a month and half. Alex Hall is still not in and it upsets him to no end. I make fun of him for it, and I suggest you do too. Just one blitz is all I ask. Just enough to show you don’t care.
Welp, that’s about it for now. I have some good blogs coming up on portmanteau words (something I am quite fond of), as well as the proper usage of the “old….trick” mannerism. Take care now, bye bye then.
