From: KTREAD
Date: Thu, Oct 21, 2010 at 11:36 AM
Subject: bio GRE prep good one- keystone predator
To: Guys XC
If a species is a keystone predator, then its removal from a community should
a) decrease population size of the predator's preferred prey
b) decrease species diversity in the prey community
c) decrease productivity of the predator's preferred prey
d) increase species diversity in the prey community
e) increase the number of trophic levels
also i must disagree when they say a keystone species is a species that has a disproportionate effect on its environment "relative to its biomass"
the answer is (d) more dudes!!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Workin for the Weekend
Today was an interesting day. I haven't read the news yet today so I don't know if the stock market crashed, if we landed on mars, or if someone discovered a super strain of super aids but today was crazy. Since I've been on the job I haven't had to deal with this many irate customers.
Although I like to leave my work at work and leave my chew at home, I would like to describe one of my interactions with a customer that I had.
This lady called me a couple weeks ago to tell me that she was upset with our factory direct program for a number of reasons. First, she didn't like the pricing. yawn. Second, she didn't like the delivery. BOR-ing. Third, she was getting her invoices sent to a different apartment complex than she had her business at. Ok, kind of valid.
Anyways, when we talked a couple weeks ago she said that she wasn't going to do business with us anymore. Hey, shit happens. But then she did some checking around and found out that our pricing was better and that she couldn't really get the stuff she was buying from us anywhere else. Score one for the good guys. So when she calls and tells me this I think to myself two things: One, gotcha. And two, in you're face I'm Kenny Powers.
So I figure out that she has a credit hold on her account because she didn't fill out the necessary paperwork. Check. Then I figure out that she needs her refrigerator yesterday. Don't care. Then she makes all sorts of demands while telling me that the only thing she's ever going to buy from me again is a refrigerator a month. So then I look down at my johnson, see that it's completely flacid and tell her that I'll do everything I can. Instead of "hot shotting" an order out to her to be delivered the next day I only tell her that she'll have her fridge in 3-5 business days. Check mate.
Next interaction I had today was by cold calling a very nice lady in Cincinnati. I'm not sure but I think she probably looked a little something like this:
Anyways, I wanted to get her to set up an account and our conversation went a little something like this.
Me: Hi Jane I'm calling from appliances how are you doing today?
Jane: Good
Me: Well Jane I was looking to talk to someone about the account you might have with us for factory direct pricing on appliances.
Jane: We don't have one
Me: I see that but you did have one It was cancelled in 1992 which I'm guessing is before your time at the property
Jane: No, I've been here for 20 years
Me: Oh my word well that's great. I'd love to talk to a Property Manager about where you're buying your appliances
Jane: That's me
Me: Ok great, can I ask where you're buying your appliances?
Jane: No
Me: Alright, thanks so much you have a great day!
Strike 1, strike 2, strike 3. Can't do much about those ones.
Although I like to leave my work at work and leave my chew at home, I would like to describe one of my interactions with a customer that I had.
This lady called me a couple weeks ago to tell me that she was upset with our factory direct program for a number of reasons. First, she didn't like the pricing. yawn. Second, she didn't like the delivery. BOR-ing. Third, she was getting her invoices sent to a different apartment complex than she had her business at. Ok, kind of valid.
Anyways, when we talked a couple weeks ago she said that she wasn't going to do business with us anymore. Hey, shit happens. But then she did some checking around and found out that our pricing was better and that she couldn't really get the stuff she was buying from us anywhere else. Score one for the good guys. So when she calls and tells me this I think to myself two things: One, gotcha. And two, in you're face I'm Kenny Powers.
So I figure out that she has a credit hold on her account because she didn't fill out the necessary paperwork. Check. Then I figure out that she needs her refrigerator yesterday. Don't care. Then she makes all sorts of demands while telling me that the only thing she's ever going to buy from me again is a refrigerator a month. So then I look down at my johnson, see that it's completely flacid and tell her that I'll do everything I can. Instead of "hot shotting" an order out to her to be delivered the next day I only tell her that she'll have her fridge in 3-5 business days. Check mate.
Next interaction I had today was by cold calling a very nice lady in Cincinnati. I'm not sure but I think she probably looked a little something like this:
Anyways, I wanted to get her to set up an account and our conversation went a little something like this.
Me: Hi Jane I'm calling from appliances how are you doing today?
Jane: Good
Me: Well Jane I was looking to talk to someone about the account you might have with us for factory direct pricing on appliances.
Jane: We don't have one
Me: I see that but you did have one It was cancelled in 1992 which I'm guessing is before your time at the property
Jane: No, I've been here for 20 years
Me: Oh my word well that's great. I'd love to talk to a Property Manager about where you're buying your appliances
Jane: That's me
Me: Ok great, can I ask where you're buying your appliances?
Jane: No
Me: Alright, thanks so much you have a great day!
Strike 1, strike 2, strike 3. Can't do much about those ones.
Katy Perry makes nice music
I'm not sure if anyone reading this is old enough to remember my facebook post about how lilly allen makes nice music and other things of that nature. Well this post is all about Katy Perry and the wonderful music she has been making as of late.
Love this gal right now. I remember going into my sophomore summer tmid sent me "Hot 'N Cold". Now this was quite some time ago, almost two years, but I'm nearly certain the interaction between the two of us went exactly like this.
Tmid: check out this song
attached file: Hot 'N Cold - Katy Perry
Lyon3000: eh, not crazy about it
Tmid: Maybe you just can't appreciate the realness of "you change your mind like a girl changes clothes"
See at this time, I had no idea what I was talking about. Sure, I kissed a Girl came out and smushed up america. I really can't say anything about that song that hasn't already been said.
"Amazing" -rolling stone magazine
"Punk Feel with a Pop vibe" -the national enquirer
"Great song with an even better pair of tits" -hustler
"I listen to this song in my room with the volume on low so my roomates won't think I'm gay but I probably definitely secretly love it" -me
So again I must insist that I didn't know what I was saying when I replied to Tmid. I really don't. Needless to say, Hot 'N Cold, along with Shake it by Metro Station, became two of the biggest songs of the basement mix that rocked the summer of '08x.
Now here we are, a few years gone by, and I find myself listening to techno remixes of teenage dream, california gurls, and my newest favorite: Last Friday Night. All of these are of course off her newest album: Teenage Wet Dream and I have nothing but good things to say about it. Sure, I have been called out at least 5 times by the people I work with because I pull up to work nearly every single day with Last Friday night blarring in my car. But you know what, i don't care. I moved to Louisville because there aren't any parents here, and I'm going to do exactly what I want.
As for the lyrics, it's clearly a song about me:
There's a stranger in my bed, there's a pounding in my head circa senior spring
Pink Flamingos in the pool circa post Beach to Beacon Party summer 2009
Pictures of last night ended up online I'm screwed circa most of my college career
It's a blacked out blurr, but I'm pretty sure it ruled circa morparty week
Now we danced on table tops circa blacklight part fall 2009
Now we took too many shots circa too many times to list
Think we kissed but I forgot circa uhhhh yeah
Now we maxed our credit cards circa now
Always say we're gonna stop circa every Sunday morning ever
Now we think we broke the law circa professor dinner party fall 2009
We went streaking in the park circa sophomore fall first floor baker
Skinny dipping in the dark circa summer 2009 post morparty week
T.G.I.F. circa every friday ever
Saxaphone solo circa Bill Clinton's presidency. jingle bill's cock
As you can see, this song is clearly about me. And I'm guessing, you too! ;)
Love this gal right now. I remember going into my sophomore summer tmid sent me "Hot 'N Cold". Now this was quite some time ago, almost two years, but I'm nearly certain the interaction between the two of us went exactly like this.
Tmid: check out this song
attached file: Hot 'N Cold - Katy Perry
Lyon3000: eh, not crazy about it
Tmid: Maybe you just can't appreciate the realness of "you change your mind like a girl changes clothes"
See at this time, I had no idea what I was talking about. Sure, I kissed a Girl came out and smushed up america. I really can't say anything about that song that hasn't already been said.
"Amazing" -rolling stone magazine
"Punk Feel with a Pop vibe" -the national enquirer
"Great song with an even better pair of tits" -hustler
"I listen to this song in my room with the volume on low so my roomates won't think I'm gay but I probably definitely secretly love it" -me
So again I must insist that I didn't know what I was saying when I replied to Tmid. I really don't. Needless to say, Hot 'N Cold, along with Shake it by Metro Station, became two of the biggest songs of the basement mix that rocked the summer of '08x.
Now here we are, a few years gone by, and I find myself listening to techno remixes of teenage dream, california gurls, and my newest favorite: Last Friday Night. All of these are of course off her newest album: Teenage Wet Dream and I have nothing but good things to say about it. Sure, I have been called out at least 5 times by the people I work with because I pull up to work nearly every single day with Last Friday night blarring in my car. But you know what, i don't care. I moved to Louisville because there aren't any parents here, and I'm going to do exactly what I want.
As for the lyrics, it's clearly a song about me:
There's a stranger in my bed, there's a pounding in my head circa senior spring
Pink Flamingos in the pool circa post Beach to Beacon Party summer 2009
Pictures of last night ended up online I'm screwed circa most of my college career
It's a blacked out blurr, but I'm pretty sure it ruled circa morparty week
Now we danced on table tops circa blacklight part fall 2009
Now we took too many shots circa too many times to list
Think we kissed but I forgot circa uhhhh yeah
Now we maxed our credit cards circa now
Always say we're gonna stop circa every Sunday morning ever
Now we think we broke the law circa professor dinner party fall 2009
We went streaking in the park circa sophomore fall first floor baker
Skinny dipping in the dark circa summer 2009 post morparty week
T.G.I.F. circa every friday ever
Saxaphone solo circa Bill Clinton's presidency. jingle bill's cock
As you can see, this song is clearly about me. And I'm guessing, you too! ;)
Sunday, October 3, 2010
How do they do it?
Geico has phenominal ad campaigns. I can't figure out how they do it. Things all started with 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. It's simple, to the point, informative, and it kind of makes you feel all warm and fuzy inside. Thinking to myself, "wow, 15 minutes is all it takes for me to save 15% on my outrageously priced car insurance, I'm fuckin in."
From there, Geico progressed to a perversion of their company name by employing a mascot people had, until that point, not associated with cute and adorable: a gecko. "I am a gecko, not to be confused with geico" always sounds better coming from an animated lizard. Always.
The Gecko ad campaign was developed beautifully right up until present day by implementing ringtones, boardroom presentations, and galas all of which appealed to America's humorous side.
Enter the caveman. I don't know where Geico came up with this one, but I must say up until recently it was my favorite campaign. Completely unassuming and inoffensive to anyone and everyone, the Caveman burst onto the media scene with authority. If you think about it, using a caveman is the best way to insult the intelligence of a demographic that anyone has ever thought of. There aren't any caveman activist groups that will be offended because, simply put, cavemans became extinct a long time ago right along with the dinosaurs, the detroit lions, and the west nile virus. It's perfect. In fact, capital 1 has recently begun an initiative to spin off of Geico's success by implementing vikings in their ad campaigns doing things like enjoying the snow, sun, and surf. This perhaps might be a bit more riskay, but I like it.
Next, the money with the googly eyes. First, I must say that the googly eyes is what drew me in initially by bringing me back to my days of arts and crafts in grade school and while supervising day-before-christmas activities as a substitute teacher. Showing the customer the money they could be saving by switching to geico is a very real and tangible way with a cute, googly eye, spin on it. I must also mention that the dubstep song introduced along with the money is a 1980 smash hit by the artist Rockwell. The most noteworthy aspect of this song is that his background singer is Michael Jackson. Rumor has it that Rockwell's father was Michael Jackson's studio manager for a period of time and called on Michael for a favor.
But I digress. Present day Geico commercials are by far my favorite. They utilize humor, edginess, and take at least 2 or 3 good views to appreciate. The commercials themselves are set up by first asking if Geico could really save you 15% or more on car insurance. Then, as if to imply that the answer to that question is "obviously yes" ask another rhetorical and obviously yes question. Observe:
Loves it. And my favorite:
Great work, Geico. Keep it up.
From there, Geico progressed to a perversion of their company name by employing a mascot people had, until that point, not associated with cute and adorable: a gecko. "I am a gecko, not to be confused with geico" always sounds better coming from an animated lizard. Always.
The Gecko ad campaign was developed beautifully right up until present day by implementing ringtones, boardroom presentations, and galas all of which appealed to America's humorous side.
Enter the caveman. I don't know where Geico came up with this one, but I must say up until recently it was my favorite campaign. Completely unassuming and inoffensive to anyone and everyone, the Caveman burst onto the media scene with authority. If you think about it, using a caveman is the best way to insult the intelligence of a demographic that anyone has ever thought of. There aren't any caveman activist groups that will be offended because, simply put, cavemans became extinct a long time ago right along with the dinosaurs, the detroit lions, and the west nile virus. It's perfect. In fact, capital 1 has recently begun an initiative to spin off of Geico's success by implementing vikings in their ad campaigns doing things like enjoying the snow, sun, and surf. This perhaps might be a bit more riskay, but I like it.
Next, the money with the googly eyes. First, I must say that the googly eyes is what drew me in initially by bringing me back to my days of arts and crafts in grade school and while supervising day-before-christmas activities as a substitute teacher. Showing the customer the money they could be saving by switching to geico is a very real and tangible way with a cute, googly eye, spin on it. I must also mention that the dubstep song introduced along with the money is a 1980 smash hit by the artist Rockwell. The most noteworthy aspect of this song is that his background singer is Michael Jackson. Rumor has it that Rockwell's father was Michael Jackson's studio manager for a period of time and called on Michael for a favor.
But I digress. Present day Geico commercials are by far my favorite. They utilize humor, edginess, and take at least 2 or 3 good views to appreciate. The commercials themselves are set up by first asking if Geico could really save you 15% or more on car insurance. Then, as if to imply that the answer to that question is "obviously yes" ask another rhetorical and obviously yes question. Observe:
Loves it. And my favorite:
Great work, Geico. Keep it up.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Why Hello!
starting posts with "so it's been a while" has become sort of habit by now. i don't know why i don't update more often. probably because nobody reads it. because the glory days of "at least it's warmer here" reached a pinnacle with subject of the brooke, dan, and c-dubs in the remedial room back at hyannis middle school. but i really don't have a real reason for not updating more often. i am not busy, i am not tired all the time, i guess i'm just lazy. literally my day goes like this:
5:30am: (only on wednesdays) wake up
5:35: think about eating breakfast but realize i'm late
6-7:45 Basketball at the regional AAU basketball dome called hoops. the first week i was so bad. there's this old guy there that retired a couple years ago and he literally fucking lives for wednesday mornings. he's screaming and hollering at the refs(there aren't any) and everytime i miss a lay up (often) i feel like i dissapointed my mother. man he's intense.
7am: wake up
7:15: have some sort of breakfast usually vanilla yogurt and cheerios. so dank
8: get to work and start calling up customers to get them to buy awesome GE appliances. Hey this is Jason with GE appliances. I want to sell you a double ended dildo and a 25 cubic foot side by side refrigerator. interested? Hello?
9:30: check ESPN.com
9:45: consider masturbating to image of wes welker
10: masturbate to image of wes welker
12:30: take lunch break
1:30: return from lunch. pick up yardstick and head down to retail to see what's going on.
3:30: look at clock and realize that i need to start calling like a madman to make my metrics
3:35: give up and check ESPN.com again
4:30: finally finish metrics and consider masturbating to wes welker again
5: call it a day. get in the car and drive home
6: go for run with weekend warriors from fleet feet. discuss attractiveness of wes welker
7: dinner and bourbon
7:30: more bourbon and sportscenter
8:30 even more bourbon
10:30: bedtime.
So as you can see, my schedule is not really that busy. I will try to update more. A few things of note in the last couple weeks.
I went to cincinnati on saturday with a buddy of mine from work. We both have friends that work for GE there and mine happens to be the host of the best spring break ever in Durham, NC: Matt Garreffi. We went to a Cincinnati bearcats game vs. Oklahoma U. After scalping some tickets, we basically spent the first half changing seats to combine not sitting int he nosebleeds with not sitting in a paying customer's seat. It worked out well and we managed to enjoy the second half without incident. I met a friend named Aden who is a 1st grader. He doesn't like dip, his dad looks like brett farvre, and he likes football. good kid.
I joined an old man's hockey league. although we started off the season 0-2, it's the tightest thing down here. I have a couple of goals and feel like i'm a solid addition to the team. the way they pick the teams is by basically putting all the entrants names in a hat and picking them out for the teams. so all these guys know eachother but i have never heard the work "fuck" directed at someone else more times than in 3 18 minute periods here. the best part is that it's usually at the refs. and it's also usually followed by "i'm sorry man, are you still coming to my cookout this weekend?". tight.
I participated in the GE family and friends Helath Ahead run for Cancer 5k a couple weeks ago. And by participated, I of course mean that I won. It's very ironic that i was running for cancer and ended up winning. I also got asked to run on this relay race with a bunch of weekend warrior guys that run from fleet feet. It's called the bourban chase and is an overnight relay with 3 legs/person followed by an all you can drink bourbon tasting gala. i cannot wait. unfortunately this means that i have to start running more than whenever i feel like it. i think i can do that.
i'm in shape and pumped to see everyone back at school in a couple weeks. i think i'll get to see about 8 of you in a few weeks in terra haute. that is, if i can work up the gumption to call barry and smooth a few things out before then.
John, if you read this, please send me the new sickanimation cd. my hard drive died, my ipod got jacked from my car, and i'm missing a very important part of my itunes.
all best,
jman
5:30am: (only on wednesdays) wake up
5:35: think about eating breakfast but realize i'm late
6-7:45 Basketball at the regional AAU basketball dome called hoops. the first week i was so bad. there's this old guy there that retired a couple years ago and he literally fucking lives for wednesday mornings. he's screaming and hollering at the refs(there aren't any) and everytime i miss a lay up (often) i feel like i dissapointed my mother. man he's intense.
7am: wake up
7:15: have some sort of breakfast usually vanilla yogurt and cheerios. so dank
8: get to work and start calling up customers to get them to buy awesome GE appliances. Hey this is Jason with GE appliances. I want to sell you a double ended dildo and a 25 cubic foot side by side refrigerator. interested? Hello?
9:30: check ESPN.com
9:45: consider masturbating to image of wes welker
10: masturbate to image of wes welker
12:30: take lunch break
1:30: return from lunch. pick up yardstick and head down to retail to see what's going on.
3:30: look at clock and realize that i need to start calling like a madman to make my metrics
3:35: give up and check ESPN.com again
4:30: finally finish metrics and consider masturbating to wes welker again
5: call it a day. get in the car and drive home
6: go for run with weekend warriors from fleet feet. discuss attractiveness of wes welker
7: dinner and bourbon
7:30: more bourbon and sportscenter
8:30 even more bourbon
10:30: bedtime.
So as you can see, my schedule is not really that busy. I will try to update more. A few things of note in the last couple weeks.
I went to cincinnati on saturday with a buddy of mine from work. We both have friends that work for GE there and mine happens to be the host of the best spring break ever in Durham, NC: Matt Garreffi. We went to a Cincinnati bearcats game vs. Oklahoma U. After scalping some tickets, we basically spent the first half changing seats to combine not sitting int he nosebleeds with not sitting in a paying customer's seat. It worked out well and we managed to enjoy the second half without incident. I met a friend named Aden who is a 1st grader. He doesn't like dip, his dad looks like brett farvre, and he likes football. good kid.
I joined an old man's hockey league. although we started off the season 0-2, it's the tightest thing down here. I have a couple of goals and feel like i'm a solid addition to the team. the way they pick the teams is by basically putting all the entrants names in a hat and picking them out for the teams. so all these guys know eachother but i have never heard the work "fuck" directed at someone else more times than in 3 18 minute periods here. the best part is that it's usually at the refs. and it's also usually followed by "i'm sorry man, are you still coming to my cookout this weekend?". tight.
I participated in the GE family and friends Helath Ahead run for Cancer 5k a couple weeks ago. And by participated, I of course mean that I won. It's very ironic that i was running for cancer and ended up winning. I also got asked to run on this relay race with a bunch of weekend warrior guys that run from fleet feet. It's called the bourban chase and is an overnight relay with 3 legs/person followed by an all you can drink bourbon tasting gala. i cannot wait. unfortunately this means that i have to start running more than whenever i feel like it. i think i can do that.
i'm in shape and pumped to see everyone back at school in a couple weeks. i think i'll get to see about 8 of you in a few weeks in terra haute. that is, if i can work up the gumption to call barry and smooth a few things out before then.
John, if you read this, please send me the new sickanimation cd. my hard drive died, my ipod got jacked from my car, and i'm missing a very important part of my itunes.
all best,
jman
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Happy September
Let me first begin by saying happy September everyone. This is the month that I get to finally move into my apartment. When I say finally…I fucking mean it. I have been living out of a cardboard box for the last 4 weeks (legit) and I’m about ready to wear something to work besides black pants and a white or blue striped shirt. Don’t get me wrong, shirts are cool, but I really think people are starting to wonder if I have any clothes besides the 3 outfits I wear week in and week out.
Whateva
So again, it’s been a while. I apologize and I doubt that anyone even reads this anymore but I’m going to get a little bit off my chest.
I suppose I should begin at the very start…roommates. The two girls I’m living with are graduates of Centre college. They seem pretty normal, I seriously doubt they’ve killed anybody in the recent past, they like to drink, and I am optimistic for an orgy. I imagine it being a little like Grandma’s boy where he has crazy orgies with his roommates but this time they will be girls my age and not my grandmother and her friends. Hey, I can dream can’t I?
Next, work. Work is tight. I get stressed out a lot and as a result, I’ve been having a bit of dessert (for ex: currently). This is my theory: work is not particularly stressful once you know what you’re doing. Right now, I get phone calls and make phone calls upon which I am presented with questions such as:
1. Is hth16psgww model energy star
2. What is the capital of Nevada
3. What is the next model up from the psph6ypzss and how much does it cost?
4. If I wax my eyebrows, does it make me look fat?
5. What is the price of the psph6ypzww?
6. If I were to say you sounded sexy could we have phone sex right now?
7. Would you fuck me?
As you can see, these are very difficult questions for me. I’m trying to get my bearings and I feel like there is a finite number of questions that can be asked. For now, I have to scribble down what I hear and ask someone next to me. I hope to soon have heard the questions enough times that I know how to deal with them and no longer have to pester my neighbors. For now, however, I will remain calm and collected so that I can interact with customers in a professional manner. And off the record, yes I would fuck you.
Also, pricing is a difficult thing to figure out. I have to price my appliances at an appropriate price so that I make money, but also so that I don’t send them running off to a competitor to find a better price. That is the most difficult aspect but I feel like if I build enough rapport with these folks I can manage to schmooze my way into business. If there is one thing that I have found from the Fresh Ketch, I am numero uno at schmoozing.
This weekend is going to be tight. Grant’s girlfriend still lives in Louisville and he’s flying in for the long weekend. It also happens to be the big U of L vs. KU football game. In case you haven’t heard, this is it. The big enchilada, the shit, the number one thing that people down here live for. It is almost upsetting to listen to everyone at the office throw insults at each other over who is going to win. In fact, I’m nearly certain I saw my neighbor spring a chub when I told him I thought KU was going to win. Similarly, I am completely certain that I saw the nipples on my other neighbor harden when I said the same thing. Such is life in Kentucky. With Grant in town, I plan to have a nice weekend full of debauchery, with time set aside for him to spend alone time with Allison laying pipe of course, and I may even try to get Uncle Alec to roll in. We shall see.
Anyways, things are going alright except for this rooming situation. I think I’m going to have to wait until next Friday to move in because this roommate of theirs who is moving out is currently busy fingering his b-hole and can’t move out until then. If I ever meet this guy I’m going to pick him up over my head and forcefully throw him against a solid object. I’m thinking a brick wall, but I guess I’ll have to roll with the circumstances.
I envy everyone at the grant right now. I bet the team is looking good but I can say for a fact that I don’t envy the 9 mile tempo coming up this Thursday. If people don’t run out to hellgate in the morning, I am going to be one upset individual. It’s tradition and only 4 people did it last year. Sack up guys. On a similar note, I’m currently training for the GE friends and family 5k on the weekend of 15th of September. I am looking to set the record but my training is saying otherwise. When I run I usually warm up for about two miles, run two miles hard and cool down another 1 mile. I haven’t stretched since heps so I can guarantee that isn’t helping me. So far my summer ’10 PR in the two mile is 10:39. I chalk the lackluster performance up to 95 degree weather. I have to get my head straight in the next two weeks. 40 tipping by yourself and dessert to unwind from a long day of sounding like an idiot at the office has got to end.
That’s all for now, E-mail me and let me know about life.
J Ly
Whateva
So again, it’s been a while. I apologize and I doubt that anyone even reads this anymore but I’m going to get a little bit off my chest.
I suppose I should begin at the very start…roommates. The two girls I’m living with are graduates of Centre college. They seem pretty normal, I seriously doubt they’ve killed anybody in the recent past, they like to drink, and I am optimistic for an orgy. I imagine it being a little like Grandma’s boy where he has crazy orgies with his roommates but this time they will be girls my age and not my grandmother and her friends. Hey, I can dream can’t I?
Next, work. Work is tight. I get stressed out a lot and as a result, I’ve been having a bit of dessert (for ex: currently). This is my theory: work is not particularly stressful once you know what you’re doing. Right now, I get phone calls and make phone calls upon which I am presented with questions such as:
1. Is hth16psgww model energy star
2. What is the capital of Nevada
3. What is the next model up from the psph6ypzss and how much does it cost?
4. If I wax my eyebrows, does it make me look fat?
5. What is the price of the psph6ypzww?
6. If I were to say you sounded sexy could we have phone sex right now?
7. Would you fuck me?
As you can see, these are very difficult questions for me. I’m trying to get my bearings and I feel like there is a finite number of questions that can be asked. For now, I have to scribble down what I hear and ask someone next to me. I hope to soon have heard the questions enough times that I know how to deal with them and no longer have to pester my neighbors. For now, however, I will remain calm and collected so that I can interact with customers in a professional manner. And off the record, yes I would fuck you.
Also, pricing is a difficult thing to figure out. I have to price my appliances at an appropriate price so that I make money, but also so that I don’t send them running off to a competitor to find a better price. That is the most difficult aspect but I feel like if I build enough rapport with these folks I can manage to schmooze my way into business. If there is one thing that I have found from the Fresh Ketch, I am numero uno at schmoozing.
This weekend is going to be tight. Grant’s girlfriend still lives in Louisville and he’s flying in for the long weekend. It also happens to be the big U of L vs. KU football game. In case you haven’t heard, this is it. The big enchilada, the shit, the number one thing that people down here live for. It is almost upsetting to listen to everyone at the office throw insults at each other over who is going to win. In fact, I’m nearly certain I saw my neighbor spring a chub when I told him I thought KU was going to win. Similarly, I am completely certain that I saw the nipples on my other neighbor harden when I said the same thing. Such is life in Kentucky. With Grant in town, I plan to have a nice weekend full of debauchery, with time set aside for him to spend alone time with Allison laying pipe of course, and I may even try to get Uncle Alec to roll in. We shall see.
Anyways, things are going alright except for this rooming situation. I think I’m going to have to wait until next Friday to move in because this roommate of theirs who is moving out is currently busy fingering his b-hole and can’t move out until then. If I ever meet this guy I’m going to pick him up over my head and forcefully throw him against a solid object. I’m thinking a brick wall, but I guess I’ll have to roll with the circumstances.
I envy everyone at the grant right now. I bet the team is looking good but I can say for a fact that I don’t envy the 9 mile tempo coming up this Thursday. If people don’t run out to hellgate in the morning, I am going to be one upset individual. It’s tradition and only 4 people did it last year. Sack up guys. On a similar note, I’m currently training for the GE friends and family 5k on the weekend of 15th of September. I am looking to set the record but my training is saying otherwise. When I run I usually warm up for about two miles, run two miles hard and cool down another 1 mile. I haven’t stretched since heps so I can guarantee that isn’t helping me. So far my summer ’10 PR in the two mile is 10:39. I chalk the lackluster performance up to 95 degree weather. I have to get my head straight in the next two weeks. 40 tipping by yourself and dessert to unwind from a long day of sounding like an idiot at the office has got to end.
That’s all for now, E-mail me and let me know about life.
J Ly
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