Lyon Out

Today was my last day subbing for the remedial kids. I don’t really find things that they do funny anymore, so much as I find them disappointing. For example, we were watching the cartoon movie “Hercules” today and Cassie yells out at the T.V. screen “Yo, that looks like the guy on the penny! (holds up penny) Look!” It’s Abraham Lincoln, you shithead. He’s the reason that 75% of this class isn’t still picking cotton you ignorant piece of crap. Sigh.

It makes me very happy to know that I don’t have to deal with them again if I don’t want to, but it also makes me sad that I’m going the way that everyone who encounters them goes. It really is much easier just to say “fuck it” and let them be. But after two months of experiencing them, I can say that ultimately it is no one but their own fault. I am an intelligent, motivated, high-energy person, and I was running out of energy by last period every single day. I tried countless ways to get them to learn, to make them realize that they just look and act like complete shitheads and that that’s not ok in life. But no dice. They just don’t even want to be saved from themselves. So I’m done, and in the process, I have jaded myself.

I really resent the program right now, and feel that it’s a waste of tax dollars. The other day I seriously considered what it would be like if kids at the age of 12 had to pass a comprehensive test of behavior and scholastics or they would be euthanized. It would solve a ton of problems. They wouldn’t become parents in the future, we wouldn’t have to have high school age kids in programs like this, and nobody would ever have to deal with them again. But that’s bad and I shouldn’t think about that. But I do.

Anyways, they think that the cool thing to do is to not care, or to be more “hood” than the other kids. They think that the way they gain respect isn’t by being smarter or faster or more driven than the other kids, but it’s to fight them into submission. It’s stupid. So stupid. They yell and scream and kick until they get their way and don’t have to do work. 80% of the teacher’s energy is wasted on trying to get them to stop opening the door and walking out into the hallway whenever they feel like it. For some reason they just think that they are too cool for school. Speaking of school, they don’t get that it’s a privilege. I guarantee that little 13 year old Tim Sirkoi wasn’t lighting cigarettes in the bathroom, cussing out teachers, or ripping up his math homework. That’s because he realized the power of education.

I like to think that one day things will “click” for these kids, but I just don’t know. Maybe they’ll end up dead first. It’s sad.

Ok, ok I’ll stop. I’m getting preachy. Be cool about fire safety! Books, check 'em out!