The Hangover is Pretty Average

On the whole, when it comes down to it, in all seriousness, truthfully speaking, the movie “The Hangover” is pretty average. I had been wanting to see this movie for such a long time (3 weeks) and I didn’t find 1. a time to see it or 2. a person to see it with who hadn’t already seen it until last night. I was pretty amped to see the movie because all of my coworkers and pretty much anyone else I asked about the movie immediately sprang a chubbler as soon as I asked them how it was. My peers, who shall remain nameless, had the following to say about the movie.

“The movie is epic.”

“The movie is hilarious”

“I have seen it so many times, I would totally go see it again”

“I flick my bean to that movie”

“The first time I saw that movie I was blazed out of my mind and I laughed so hard that I got a headache”

"I was halfway through the movie when I looked down and saw that I came in my pants"

So needless to say, going into the movie I had some pretty high expectations. After leaving the movie, I have decided that the movie is pretty average. The following are reasons that I think the movie can be deemed average.

Seth Rogan isn’t in it, but the movie still wreaks of his comedy – I have been saying for years now that Will Ferrel’s best work is behind him. He had some good hits for a while there, and then he just started churning out crap. Absolute crap. It’s almost as if he told the directors “Look guys, just turn the cameras on. I’ll do something hilarious and you’ll tape it. We’ll sell it and make millions.” They don’t even write scripts anymore. But I digress. My point here is that this is what Seth Rogan has been doing for his entire career. Doing stupid things that people who have killed too many brain cells think is funny. This movie didn’t have any new and refreshing jokes, but instead just had the guys on camera bantering back and forth until they finally got something that made the screening audience chuckle.
The Hangover is average.

Child Abuse – There is a scene in the movie where a live child is actually hit with a car door. There is also a scene in the movie where a live child is forced to do sexually explicit acts involving his crotch and right hand. There is no 3 month old in the world that has ever conceded to enjoying stuff like that. The baby looked downright sad the entire time he was on the screen, and I bet he was getting payed in Gerber’s.
The Hangover is average.

Stupid Cameos – Both Heather Graham and Mike Tyson are in this movie. They have almost nothing to offer to the movie except their names. It makes me sad that they were given enough money to pay for my college education in order to act like idiots.
The Hangover is average.

The Plotline was weaker than FDR’s legs – Ok so usually in these crappy movies the plotline twists and turns in a ridiculous amount and senseless ways until the viewer has to stand up from his seat and shout “alright, enough. What the fuck?!?!?” This movie is no different. But all of the people who loved this movie couldn’t say anything because the entire movie was based on all of this ridiculous stuff that happened when some guys got really drunk. So basically that was a free ticket to put as much random ass ridiculous shit into the movie as was possible. Suck my nuts, Hollywood.
The Hangover is average.

The movie is just one huge self call – Basically the entire movie is just these guys talking about what sweet guys they are. “Oh man, look at us! We are the rockin’est guys around. I bet no one in Las Vegas has ever had a night that crazy before!! Lolz!!” Seriously guys? I remember my first beer. Sack up and stop being such idiots before you wreck another 250 thousand dollar Mercedes. And just for the record, bringing a chicken to a party is just as much fun as you think it would be (hi sophomore summer).
The Hangover is average.

So that’s pretty much all I have to say about that. I have to get up early to go on a run with Greg Karukas. He likes to run fast, I better get some sleep. L8r sk8r.